


Demigods React to Disney's Hercules

by anime_reborn_1212



Category: Hercules (1997), Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Borderline crack, Demigods having fun, Everyone bonding while watching Hercules, F/M, Humor, Jason is disturbed by Disney's Zeus, Light-Hearted Fun, M/M, Massive Group Date Night, Nico is traumatized by Disney's Portrayal of Hercules, Snark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-29
Updated: 2014-11-02
Packaged: 2018-02-23 03:52:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2533127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anime_reborn_1212/pseuds/anime_reborn_1212
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Percy, Annabeth, Jason, Piper, Leo, Calypso, Frank, Hazel, Will, and Nico have massive group movie date night and watch Disney's Hercules. Chaos, snark, and laughter ensues (as well everyone getting slightly traumatized by the completely inaccurate portrayal of Hercules and the gods)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The End of the World Started When Leo Suggested to do a Quintuple Date Movie Night

**Author's Note:**

> The title says it all; I decided to make a fic in which the gang watches and reacts to Hercules. Border-line crack with much snarking from everyone. This is all done in light-hearted fun and humor. 
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hercules, PJO, HOO, or any of the characters. All of these works are simply amazing. Fic title inspired by TheFineBros. 
> 
> This is also posted on my tumblr at anime-reborn-1212.tumblr.com  
> Feel free to check me out, message/ask me anything, or to follow me (haha sorry just a little bit a shameless self-promotion there :) )

The end of the world started when Leo suggested to do a quintuple date movie night.

“Movie?” Calypso asked, sitting down on the coach.

“Yah Sunshine. You know, people in the big screen moving around?” Leo grinned, draping an arm around her. “It’ll be fun!”

“I  _know_ what a movie is.” Calypso smacked him in the stomach. “I’m just wondering what kind?”

“Well…” Piper rummaged through the neatly-stacked boxes of DVDs. “Should we do something mainstream? The underrated movies? Action-Adventure? Comedy? Oh, how about  _The Hunger Games_?”

“NO!” Percy, Leo, Frank, and Hazel shouted at once.

“No more Hunger Games…anything but that.” Frank shudders. Piper stared at him, wondering what about  _The Hunger Games_  could cause the Roman praetor to quiver from head-to-toe.

 “How about  _King of Sparta?”_ Jason grinned, holding up the DVD.

“No way!” Piper grabbed the DVD, hurling it to the other side of the room. “We are  _not_ going to watch my Dad run around shirtless while shouting out cheesy one-liners.”

“Yah, we already have Leo for that.” Percy joked, pointing over to Leo.

“Hey! I don’t run around shirtless!” Leo protested. “And my one-liners are amazing!”

“Well, you did kind of land on Ogygia half-naked…and burn off your shirt a lot…” Calypso murmured, causing him to flush red.

Nico stood up from the edge of the group, where he was sitting with Will. “We’re gonna be here all night unless we pick a movie. Let’s just nominate one person to make the decision.”

“Well, considering that the movie date night was Leo’s idea  _and_ he blew himself up to defeat Gaea _and_ defied the laws of time and death, I think he’s earned the right to pick the movie.” Annabeth said, and everyone else nodded in agreement.

“Thank you, thank you, you’re all too kind!” Leo mock-bowed. “In that case….” He shuffled through the DVDs, muttering to himself. “Hmm, let’s see….nope definitely not horror….definitely not any sort of book-to-film adaptation…DEFINITELY not  _The Lightening Thief_ ….ooh, how about a good ol’ Disney movie! How about… _Hercules?”_ Leo held up the DVD box dramatically, grinning at everyone.

“Hercules?” Jason and Percy echoed at the same time, wrinkled their noses. After all, they didn’t exactly have many  _fond_ memories of the actual Hercules.

“Yah why not? I bet none of us have seen it before, and it looks pretty interesting.” Leo looks at everyone else. “What do you guys think?”

The other demigods look around, before nodding. “Alright, sounds good.” Annabeth said, as Leo pops the DVD into the DVD player.

 

> _Narrator: Long ago, in the faraway land of ancient Greece…_
> 
> _there was a golden age of powerful gods…_
> 
> _and extraordinary heroes._
> 
> _And the greatest and strongest of all these heroes…_

“Was  _obviously_ Leo Valdez.”

“Shhh!” Calypso shoved him good-naturedly.

 

> _…was the might Hercules_

"Ohh."

>   _Muses: Will you listen to him?_
> 
> _He’s making the story sound like some Greek tragedy._

“Maybe because it  _is_ a Greek tragedy?” Annabeth snickered. “I mean, for starters the dude was driven insane by Hera, murdered his children and first wife, and had to go through the 12 Labours. Oh and aren’t there supposed to be  _9_ Muses…?” Annabeth trailed off, shaking her head at the mythological inaccuracy of the film. 

>   _Muse: Ooh, I’d like to make some sweet music with him…_
> 
>  

Hazel to choke on her popcorn. “She’d like to…she’d like to  _what?”_ She splutters out, while Frank pounds on her the back. “I thought this was a  _kids_ movie!”

“Oh sure,  _Zeus_ gets all the glory and praise, and the Muses just  _conveniently_ forget about all the other gods.” Percy grumbles.

“I wouldn’t even be surprised if Zeus  _ordered_ the Muses to only sing about his mighty deeds.” Leo agreed.

“aHEM.” Jason glared at the two of them, causing them to shrink back into the coach.

The group composed themselves, managing to get through the rest of the opening sequence without any further interruption.

Of course, that all goes to waste once the scene cut away to baby Hercules.

“What…” Will frowned at the screen. “Who’s the pink lady supposed to be?”

“No way…” Hazel leaned forward, squinting. “No…is that… _Hera?”_

“THAT’S Hera? THAT’S the Queen of Heaven?” Annabeth shook her head. “No, I’ve MET her, and she does not look like that at all. And why the hell is she even holding Hercules?”

“Excuse me?” Jason spluttered. “Hera….holding an illegitimate child of Zeus  _without_ doing any sort of harm or damage to them?”

“Unless….” Piper trailed off, the truth dawning on everyone.

“You have got to be kidding me…”

“HERCULES IS NOT THE CHILD OF ZEUS AND HERA” Jason exclaimed indignantly. “THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT OF HIS LIFE, THAT’S WHY HE WENT THROUGH SO MUCH SHIT IT WAS BECAUSE HERA WOULDN’T LEAVE HIM ALONE!”

“Oh gods, if they couldn’t even get  _this_ right, how is the rest of the movie gonna go?” Nico shuddered.

"Well, this  _is_ a kids movie. They can’t exactly state that Zeus couldn’t keep it in his pants and fathered a ton of illegitimate children.” Piper reminded them.

"Oh sure, but they can show the violent fighting scenes then?" Leo rolled his eyes. 

"Huh, come to think of it…our lives aren’t very child-friendly." Frank frowned at that thought. "That’s kind of depressing."

"Well, that’s the perks of being a demigod!" Will chimed in cheerfully, always looking at the bright side of everything.

"Very well, let’s continue." Frank directed their attention back to the screen, as Zeus entered the scene.

“Well, at least they kind of got Zeus’ appearance right…ish.” Jason sighed in relief.

>   _Zeus (cooing at baby Hercules): Oh, look at this._
> 
> _Look how cute he is…Hah! Oh, he’s strong, like his dad, hmm?_

 “Oh gods, I spoke too soon.” Jason hid his face in a pillow as Piper let out a peal of laughter. “Oh my gods…oh gods that is  _not_ what Zeus is like!” He groaned, as Percy patted him on the back sympathetically, although inside he was hoping that Poseidon would not make an appearance in the movie.

The group watched, as Zeus presented baby Hercules with Pegasus.

“Alright, mythological inaccuracy aside, you  _have_ to admit that baby Pegasus and Hercules are  _adorable.”_ Frank cooed, eliciting many strange stares from everyone else except Hazel.

“Wow, not even 10 minutes into this movie and Frank’s already gone insane!” Leo joked.

“I’m serious!”

> _Hades: You know, I haven’t been this choked up…_

 “Wait who is that?” Will asked, pointing at the dark figure with flaming blue hair.

“Oh no…” Nico turned pale white; which was saying something seeing as he was already normally white as a sheet. “Please no…”

 

> _…since I got a hunk of moussaka caught in my throat!_
> 
> _Huh?_
> 
> _………_
> 
> _So is this an audience or a mosaic?_

Leo hits the pause, and for a minute no one moves…everyone’s too busy trying to digest what they had just seen.

Will is finally the one to break the silence. “So…I’m gonna go out on a limb here and just say that you  _definitely_ took after your mom more, right?” He ventured tentatively, and the dam breaks.

“OH MY GODS.” Percy bursted out, unable to contain his laughter anymore. “OH MY…OH MY GODS THIS IS TOO MUCH. THIS. IS HADES. THIS IS HADES, LORD OF THE UNDERWORD.” He doubles over, nearly chocking on his own laughter. “JUST IMAGINE…IF THE REAL HADES WERE LIKE THAT…” He nearly fell off the coach with laughter, as everyone else joins in.

“Dat flaming hair though…”

“Forget the hair. How about that joke?”

"Lord of bad jokes…maybe he’s the Lord of  _puns._ ”

“Nico can you do puns too?”

"Nico’s secret calling is to be a stand-up comedian." 

Nico buries his face in Will’s shoulder. “I am a son of Hades…the REAL Hades. I don’t do puns or jokes.” His voice comes out muffled, as Will chuckles sympathetically.

“Of course you are, you little sunspot.” He said soothingly.

“DO NOT call me that…especially after when  _that_ ” Nico gestures to the TV screen. “ _that_ Hades just used that nickname.”

The group died down, as Leo resumed the movie.

“AT least they got  _that_ part of Hades character right.” Nico grumbles, finally lifting his head from Will’ shoulder to watch Zeus and Hades’ conversation. 

“Careful Nico. Disney’ll get one thing right and screw up 50000 other things when it comes to Greek mythology.” Jason reminds him, still not completely over this new ‘fatherly and affectionate’ side of Zeus.

> _Zeus: You ought to slow down. You’ll work yourself to death. Hah! Work yourself to death!_

“Case in point.” Jason sighs, cringing at the pun.  

“The puns are spreading throughout Olympus.” Calypso noted.

“I think I’ve had my fill of bad jokes for the century.” Hazel agreed.  

“Why aren’t  _you_ getting made fun of too?” Nico pointed at Hazel.

“Because I’m a child of  _Pluto._ I’m  _sure_ Pluto would be very different from this Hades…I hope.”

Nico groaned again. “How long is this film?”

“About….93 minutes.” Frank replied, reading the back of the DVD box. “And we’re only 7 minutes in.”

“Ughh.” Annabeth grabbed her soda and took a long drink. “This is going to be a long movie.”


	2. Even Before Hades Heard the Prophecy, He was Having a Rotten Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the kudos and kind comments! I'm glad that so many people enjoy this fic...it really encourages me to continue on :)
> 
> As always, feel free to check me out on tumblr at anime-reborn-1212.tumblr.com and leave a message/ask :)

> _Muses: If there's one god you don't want to get steamed up, it's Hades._  
>  _'Cause he had an evil plan._  
>  _He ran the underworld_  
>  _But thought the dead were dull and uncouth._  
>  _He was as mean as he was ruthless_  
>  _And that's the gospel truth._  
>  _He had a plan to shake things up_  
>  _And that's the gospel truth._

“Nico, aren’t you going to defend Hades?” Frank glanced over at the person in question. “I mean, he can’t be  _that_  bad, right?”

“Can’t Frank.” Nico grinned cheekily. “You heard them; it’s the  _gospel truth.”_ He elongated the words, dragging it out.

“I changed my mind…Will, make sure that Nico never pursues a career in comedy.” Frank said over the sounds of everyone elses’ groans and half-laughs.   

“Duly noted.” Will grinned, and Nico threw a piece of popcorn at him.

> _Hades: Pain!_  
>  _Pain: Coming, your most lugubriousness...ow!_  
>  _Hades: Panic!_  
>  _Panic: Oh, I'm sorry. I can handle it!_

 “BULLSHIT.” Piper suddenly snapped, as the two ….demons? Were demons supposed to be that small? appeared on the screen. “Pain and Panic are children of Ares and Aphrodite. Why are they working for Hades?”

“Maybe they must like the dark gloomy underworld environment better or…or Hades bribed them, or…..Yah I don’t know I got nothing.” Jason tried to rationalize.

 “To think that Pain and Panic, my half-brothers and fore bringers of war have been turned reduced to…to…”

> _Hades (bursting into flames): What! The Fates are here, and you didn't tell me?!_  
>  _Pain and Panic (groveling and crying): We are worms! We are worms!_

Piper pursed her lips, looking away from the screen..

“Is it going to be a thing that Hades bursts into flames whenever he gets mad? Calypso wondered. “I don’t recall the real Hades periodically setting himself on fire.”

“That’s….that’s copyright infringement! That’s MY-well technically Hephaestus’ thing, but you get the point- MY THING!” Leo shouted indignantly.

> _Hades: Memo to me, memo to me: maim you after my meeting._

 “Hey I kind of like that line.”

“That’s kind of morbid.” Hazel winced, looking at her half-brother.

“I know…that’s why I’ve got to remember it for someday!”

“Hey look it’s the Fates!” Calypso pointed at the screen, redirecting their attention back to the movie.

“Do I even have to point out how different these Fates are from the real fates?” Annabeth sighed wearily.

“Well, all things considered, Disney kind of got the general gist; I mean, at least there’s 3 of them and they have the thread and scissors.” Percy tried consoling her. “It’s just a mix of the Grey Sisters and Fates –it could’ve been a lot worse.”

> _Hades: Did you cut your hair or something? You look fabulous. I mean, you look like a fate worse than death. Ladies please. My fate...is in your lovely hands._

"You were saying?"

The demigods didn’t even bother reacting to the pun; sadly they were developing an immunity to bad puns, although Nico muttered something along the lines of needing a drink.

> _Fates: In the 18 years precisely_  
>  _The planets will align ever so nicely_  
>  _The time to act will be at hand_  
>  _Unleash the titans, your monstrous band_  
>  _Then the once-proud Zeus will finally fall_  
>  _And you, Hades will rule all!_
> 
> _A word of caution to this tale_  
>  _Should Hercules fight, you will fail._

 “And here we go!” Percy exclaimed sarcastically. “Another prophecy that’ll end up getting a bunch of people killed and ruining  _everyone’s_ lives!”

“At least it rhymes though.”

“Yah it’s like, ‘Hey you’re gonna have a crappy future, but HERE have some rhymes!”

“How do they even get it to rhyme so well?’

“Apollo.”

“No way.” Will shuddered. “Trust me when I say that Apollo is  _not_  the one who makes it rhyme. His ‘rhymes’ are very …unique.”

“Wait Nico.” Frank turned to the half-blood, looking perplexed. “Does Hades- the real Hades, that is- actually  _want_ to overthrow Zeus and become supreme ruler though?”

“Well, he thought about it, but decided that ‘Hades, God of the dead and riches, Lord of the underworld, God of necromancy, funeral rites, and Supreme Ruler of the Heavens and Earth and All Things In Between and king of the cosmos was a bit too much of a mouthful.” Nico rolled his eyes. “How am I supposed to know?”

“Alright don’t get your skeletons in a twist…”

“Oh wow,” Piper snickered at the adult-figure of Hercules shining in the Fates’ vision. “That majestic golden glow.”

 “Is that supposed to be Ancient Greek censorship?” Annabeth wondered.

“It could be.” Percy said. “It’s like: Spoilers! This person will defeat you, Hades.”

“Not much of a spoiler if the Fates already told Hades exactly who would defeat him.” Hazel pointed out.

“And that’s prophecies suck and make no sense.”

“Huh…Jason can you glow too?” Piper turned to her boyfriend, and Jason shrugged.

“I never really tried.” He concentrated, and then shook his head. “Nope, I guess I didn’t get the glowing genes, sorry.”

> _Hades: Pain? Panic? Got a little riddle for ya. How do you kill a god?_  
>  _Pain: I do not know!_  
>  _Panic: You can't. They're immortal?_  
>  _Hades: Bingo! They're immortal! So first you got to turn the little sunspot...mortal._

“Hold up,” Leo hit the pause button. “Is it even possible to turn a god into a mortal? Isn’t that a bit of a liability issue?”

“Yah it’s been done before. Zeus did it to Poseidon and Apollo once, when they tried to overthrow him.” Percy said absentmindedly, grabbing another handful of popcorn. He looked up to see everyone staring at him as if he’d gone insane. “What?” He demanded. “I know stuff, OK?”

Everyone looked away as Leo resumed the movie except for Annabeth, who pecked him on the cheek, looking extremely proud and happy. 

“Awwwwww…” Frank and Hazel cooed at the scene baby Hercules and Pegasus sleeping together.

“I can’t handle this, this is so cute!” Hazel smiled fondly at the sleeping figures.

The scene cut away to Zeus and Hera cuddling together, and both of their expressions turned sour. “Nope, not cute anymore.” Frank said, making a face.

 “Zeus actually spending the night with Hera and not with a random mortal woman?” Will gasped in mock surprise.

“Alright that’s it, this movie’s gone too far!” Annabeth jumped up, with every intention to turn off the movie.

“No wait I want to see what’s gonna happen next!” Leo protested, trying to simultaneously hold the remote away from her and watch Pain and Panic kidnap Hercules.

“Yes, it’s time for ZEUS GOES NUCLEAR!” Percy cheered, as Zeus’ rage upon discovering Hercules’ kidnapping broke over, and lightening flashed across the screen.

“You’ve been waiting forever  _just_ to say that line, haven’t you?” Annabeth glanced at Percy, who winked at her in response.

> _Panic: Hurry! Let's just kill the kid and get it over with, okay?_  
>  _Pain: Here you go, kid. A little Grecian formula._  
>  _Panic: Look at that! He's changing. Can we do it now?_  
>  _Pain: No, no, no. He has to drink the whole potion- every last drop!_

"Oh no!" Calypso gripped Leo's arm tightly, causing him to wince. 

“Woman let go of my arm!”

“Only if someone does something!”

> _Amphitryon: Who's there?_

 “Oh thank goodness.” Calypso sighed in relief as Amphitryon and Alcmene arrived, preventing Pain and Panic from feeding Hercules the entire potion. 

The group sat in silence, listening as the Muses explained Hercules’ super-strength, leading them to the present timeline of the story.  

“Ok, so let me get this straight. Hercules is a mortal now, but he still has his super-strength? And for  _some_ reason, Hades is under the false impression that Hercules is dead?” Calypso asked.

“That is correct.” Annabeth sighed, shaking her head. “My brain hurts just thinking about this.”

“Just imagine Hades’ reaction once he finds out that Hercules is still alive.” Nico chuckled. “I actually can’t wait to see what he’s going to do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're out of the prologue and into the actual story of Hercules! Ahh, next chapter's gonna be so much fun to write...


End file.
